What’s the No Coffee List?

McLeod, get the fuck out, you’re not having any coffee till you learn to fucking close. Out of everyone here, I’m the most tired of your bullshit cos guess what, your bullshit is the most fucking tired of all. “Gonna write a book, you know, when I can find the time.” Prick. You’ve got all the time in the fucking world. Where are your kids? Where’s your fucking 8am to 11pm job? Huh? How about that amateur food porn website you were talking about setting up the other week? Was that a difficult fucking idea to close on?And do I see you doing anything remotely like closing that fucking deal? How many domain names did you check before drifting off to do something else? You know how it should be. ABC. Always. Be. Closing. You’re more like “always be fucking about thinking of whatever you might do that does not involve anything like closing on anything.” Yeah that doesn’t have the neatness of ABC but it’s a lot more fucking descriptive of your half-arsed attempts to make something of your life. Oh and yeah seriously, stop coming to me with more shitty ideas that you had in the shower and that might be really fucking cool if you ever pulled your finger out of wherever the fuck your finger is, cos if I hear about one more “video of objects that make satisfying noises” that you’re never gonna fucking make, I will do more than just deny you coffee, I will personally take your head and stick it up your arse where it belongs.