Yeah you do. McSweeney’s has it. Read:

I’ll be knocking out beautiful poetry this whole goddamn flight, by Sean Adams:

Pop quiz: “Just breaking lines, blowing minds.” Is this A, a saying that I live by; B, what’s printed on the flagship coffee mug of my line of “Inspirational Cups for Inspired Poets” (available on Etsy); or C, what I’ll be doing until the tray tables go up and the electronics power down?

The answer is E, all of the above.

What was option D? You’ll never know. That’s a lesson about writing poetry: sometimes it’s best to leave things unsaid.

A letter to Frito Lay, by Josh Allen:

I recently had the pleasure of using your distinctive Doritos Baked Crusted Salmon recipe. Needless to say, it was a rousing success at my dinner party. As soon as I set the casserole dish on the table I had to quickly pull my hands away to protect myself from being bitten or stabbed with a fork! I’m kidding a little bit, but the feedback I got was so overwhelmingly great that I thought I should pass it on to you.

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