Just wanted to have a record here of his latest perpendicular-to-mainstream outburst:

We have a saying in Spanish, which is: ‘White liquid in a bottle has to be milk’ … You will know who is to blame [for the Liverpool saga]. White liquid in a bottle. If I see John the milkman in the Wirral, where I was living, with this bottle, I’d say, ‘It’s milk, sure’

Of course this needs to be seen in context with other great sportsperson quotations and probably doesn’t top Eric Cantona’s “The seagulls will follow the trawler” line, but still. I’d say it’s the best since Mourinho’s “I am a Special One.”

ALSO, one of the very best things about being a professional sportsperson would be the opportunity to strike a blow against the soul crushing banality of the post-match interview. Someone needs to say:

“Garth, that wasn’t a question, was it? It was just a very long statement of your opinion of the match, followed by an expectant pause.”


“There was a brief moment during tonight’s match when I looked around at the stadium, the supporters and the other players, the manager screaming from the sidelines, and I realized that I didn’t know where or who I was and the mere fact of my continued existence was a source of wonderment and no little trepidation. It passed, Gary, but I recall it distinctly, and while the emotional force of the recollection is nothing like the lived experience of being momentarily outside your own spirit, as it were, it still gives me a chill. Walk in the park though, overall, wasn’t it?”